Family Background and Rearing up Pattern
A particular culture exists in each family where there are certain norms, rules and customs which everybody, in the family, is expected and supposed to comply with. As is well known, family is the eternal home of almost all civic virtues and also charity also begins at home; hence family’s living pattern cannot be easily by-passed by any individual. When too much of latitude is granted, there won’t be any problem but when restrictions are applied, an attempt is made to enforce discipline, a (silent) revolt is likely to brew up which gives vent to unpleasant situations, though not always.
When children are taught to follow a strict code of discipline by elders in the family,’the youngsters feel that their freedom is hampered by undue and uncalled for ‘Don’ts’ and the sense of dissatisfaction and mental choking often results in silent rebellion. If corrective steps are not taken to forestall the brewing discontent, there may be a divide in the family which often breaks up into small fragments.
To reverse the tide and to afford a reasonable opportunity of enjoyment, fooding, work, expression, entertainments, rest, there must be an initiative initiated by one of the elder members who should listen to all the grievances of each and every member of family and then decide impartially as to what could be done to tide over the situation so as to assuage the feelings and demands of each and every family member.
Too much of iron discipline is bound to invite repulsive reactions and too much of laxity will send wrong signals. In a joint family earning members have an upper hand and the less privileged are, for unknown reasons deprived of even bare minimum facilities. This is one of the leading factors for break-up of joint family system not only in our country, but in many countries the world over.
When discharged work is not appreciated, individual freedom of expression is denied, when there are monetary disparities, when teatment is discriminative or when individual needs are subordinated to majority’s needs, a sense of dissatisfaction is bound to creep in. If such situations are not addressed to, in time, the composite family framework is likely to break-up and end-up in personal rivalry, animosity, ill-will and a situation of’no-return’ may also emerge.
The foregoing situations would suffice to create mental agitation which, in turn, cause stressful conditions whose fall-out impact is too grave to mention. Imprints of childhood leave their impression even upto the old age. Mental freedom is far more imperative than any other freedom When mind is beset with trivialites, there cannot be any peace and when there is no peace, there cannot be any rhythm in life. When one is not in a position to face the oddities of life, life becomes burdensome and stress, in itself, is another form of burden
Stress is a common factor at the following stages of life, viz.
(i) Childhood.
(ii) Adolescence, Puberty and during menstruation.
(iii) Marriage (including late marriage, incompatible marriage).
(iv) In old age.
Following (un) favourable situations account for stressful conditions, viz.
(i) Lack of parental care and guidance due to social factors, want of money, early marriage, gender discrimnation.
(iii) Shattered married life and sexual mal-adjustment.
(iv) Loss of job or inadequate income.
(v) Physical infirmity or protracted illness.
(vi) Natural upheavals and calamities.
(vii) Divorce
(ix) Disturbed family life – with particular reference to problems actuated by wife, children and other relatives.
(x) Old age and health problems related therewith.
The list is unending, but only very common factors have been mentioned above. Every person has his own peculiar symptoms and the only fact remains that the affected person is stress-ridden, whatever be the contributory cause. The grit and determination of a person is judged by his ability to face the oddities of life. It is not that all persons can show positive reactions to all stessful conditions. There are chances that a strong man may turn out to be a weak performer in a given situation and a weak person may react favourably and positively in the same situation.
Even the persons of iron and strong will, sometimes, wilt under impact of stress and even a minor incident may drive them out of their wits. So, resistance to stress is merely a relative term which cannot be individualised. Since each case needs to be tackled separately, line of treatment will also vary, because response to a line of treatment is dependent on the patient’s competence and ability to respond and physician’s expertise to motivate, guide and treat.
Patients under stress are very difficult to handle and skillful doctor (say a psychiatrist or counsel) has to exert very hard to elicit symptoms and facts. It is not an easy task which rquires patience, perseverance and determination, coupled with an utmost sympathetic and humane approach by the doctor towards his patient. Patient’s relatives, friends, collagues can play a major role by relating the patient’s condition and volleys of fluctuations in mood and behaviour.
If the patient resists in visiting a doctor (and in all probability he will) he must not be forced to do anything against his will, nor should he be rebuked, coaxed, treated curtly and roughly. There are certain persons who take even genuine sympathy as an amiss. Hence, great caution needs to be exerted, while dealing with a person under stress.