Massaging your partner can be a wonderful way of sharing and giving, helping the relationship as well as easing tensions and preventing stress problems. Preparation is important in order to help release tired, aching muscles and create and overall experience. Here are a few guidelines:
• Choose a firm massage surface. A bed is not suitable, as it tends to ‘give’ under pressure. Instead spread several thick towels on the floor. Put a ‘durry’ under the towels, if it is too uncomfortable.
• Wear loose and comfortable clothes that do not hinder your movements and allow you flexibility.
• Make sure your partner is warm and comfortable.
• Relax and concentrate on the massage. If you are unsure about what to do, just start by stroking, then concentrate on tense areas.
• If you use aromatherapy oils, mix five drops to one teaspoon of a vegetable carrier oil, such as grape seed or almond for adults. Use half the strength for children under seven and quarter strength for children under three. Do not use essential oils to massage newborn babies.
• Never pour oil directly on to your patient’s skin. Warm it in your hands. If you add oils during the massage, pour it over the back of your hand to warm it before rubbing it into your partner’s skin.
• Vary the pressure and the length of the strokes you use, take your lead from the person you are massaging.
• Make your massage strokes flowing and rhythmic, keeping one hand in contact with the body at all times.
• Work in a comfortable way. But stroke towards the heart and finish by holding your partner’s feet for a few seconds to ‘ground’ him.
• Do not massage anyone who has an infectious skin disease, an inflammatory condition such as thrombosis, is pregnant, chronically ill, in severe pain, or who has just eaten.
Back Massage
One of the most reliable ways to relax and unwind, you may find the person being massaged drifts off to sleep, a back massage releases much of the tension we accumulate through the day. Make sure that there are no draughts in the room and your partner is warm and comfortable before you begin. Your oils should be ready and close to hand before you begin, so that you don’t have to interrupt after you have begun the session. Remember to warm your hands first.
Benefits : Mid-back and lower back massage is particularly good for lower and mid backache and sciatica. Upper back massage can help in problems like coughs, colds, bronchial complaints and upper backache.
The Procedure
Step I : Starting on the back, use a smooth, stroking movement downwards with the thumbs on either side of the spine (not pressing on the bones, just outside them) and then take the hands to the side and glide back up the shoulders. Repeat several times.
Step II : Then, from a kneeling position at your partner’s side, use the whole of your hand and a smooth stroking movement to pull up steadily, one hand at a time, working all the way up and down one side of your partner’s back a few times. Repeat from other side.
Step III : Squeeze the muscles from one hand to the other, to knead the muscles of the back and shoulder and release deep-seated muscle tension. Make sure you knead generously, rather than using a pinching movement. Repeat on the other side.
Step IV : Stretch the back, using your forearms to glide in opposite directions. Try to keep a constant, steady pressure, lift off the arms when they reach the neck and buttocks, return to the centre of the back and repeat a few times.
Massaging the Legs
This is the perfect massage for the end of the day spent on your feet. It will release those tired aches and pains and leave you feeling relaxed. Do not use any pressure with these movements over varicose veins; if you do anything; just stroke them lightly towards the heart.
Benefits : Leg massage can be done to alleviate leg aches, cramp, knee ache, sprains and arthritis.
The Procedure
Step I : Moving down to the back of the legs, knead and squeeze the calf muscles.
Step II : Do not put any pressure on the area behind the knee, but glide over this and knead the back of the thigh.
Step III : Then stroke all the way up the leg, hand over hand, to improve lymph and venous blood flow. Repeat these movements several times, always moving in an upward direction. Repeat on other leg.
Step IV : On the front of the legs, kneading of the front of the thighs is helpful, but the front of the lower leg should be avoided, as the shinbone is too prominent for this movement. Stroke all the way up the front of the legs and thigh, much as on the back of the leg. Repeat these movements on the other leg.
Abdomen Massage
This should be a very gentle action, using a stroking movement and not applying any pressure. Don’t do this straight after a heavy meal.
Benefits : A massage on the stomach or belly can help in relieving indigestion, nausea, constipation, flatulence and menstrual pain.
Dir of Kneading Strokes (B.M.T.)
The Procedure
Step I : On the abdomen, use very slow circling movements in a clockwise direction to aid digestive process. Make sure your partner is comfortable and relaxed with this movement.
Step II : Adjust the depth of pressure to your partner’s comfort, if done slowly, deeper pressure can be very relaxing but do not over-do it.
Arm and Hand Massage
While massaging hands remember that some people find light movements ticklish and irritating.
Benefits : arms and hand massage can help in conditions like arm ache, strains and sprains, uthritis, tennis elbow, and writer’s cramp.
The Procedure
Step I : For the arms, stroke and gently squeeze down the arm, from the wrist to the armpit, while supporting the arm with your other hand. You may need to swap hands in order to work all round the arm.
Step II : Then, with your thumbs, firmly massage into the palms of your partner’s hand, using small circles. Repeat these movements on the other arm and hand. Use firm pressure to avoid tickling and irritating movements.
Face Massage
Benefits : Face massage can help in alleviating sinus problem, clear the complexion and loosen up the tense muscles as well as perk up the circulation.
A good head massage can leave the recipient looking quite different as the facial muscles relax and worry lines disappear – you may be able to make your partner look ten years younger in just a few minutes. To massage the face, sit on the floor with your legs open. The person being massaged should lie on their back with their head between your legs. You may like to sit on a cushion. If this position is difficult for you to maintain, sit against the wall or a chair. Ensure you are comfortable before you start, as the benefits of the massage will be lost if you have to move after you have begun.
The Procedure
Step I : The neck and face can be slowly massaged with small circles, using the fingers of both hands working symmetrically to cover all the tiny facial muscles.
Step II : Place the thumbs side by side on the centre of the forehead and stroke out to the temples, working in strips, smooth away worry lines.
Step III : Take the chin between thumb and fingers and gently pinch your way out along the jaw relaxing and releasing any tension.
Ending the Massage
If you have worked through all these areas, or even if you choose just one, for example, the back, come to a finish slowly and just place your hands on your partner for a couple of minutes to complete the massage before leaving him or her to rest.
Massage Tips
• If you become tired or short of breath while you are massaging, rest and wait until you have recovered, maintaining contact by keeping one hand on your partner.
• Don’t wear tight fitting clothes or jewellery, while you are massaging.
• Make sure that your partner wraps up warmly after you have finished. Have a warm dressing gown or bathrobe ready for them to put on.