Care Giving: Take Care of Yourself First

The initial reaction of every involved caregiver, is to
stretch one’s own mental and physical abilities, to
breaking point.

There is a hidden irony in this. The primary aim of
any caregiver-patient team, would be to maximize
well being and longevity of the patient. If you are
expecting to succeed in this endeavor, it
automatically implies a long span as a caregiver. No
person can go for very long periods of time, by
neglecting their own welfare. The irony lies in
choosing short-term exhaustion over long-term goals.

Pace yourself out. Chronic disease is a long haul.
Feeling guilty about caring about yourself, or being
emotionally wrought, will only weaken your own
physical status.

Ensure that you are eating quality, nutritious food, at
regular times. Without fuel, you cannot possibly stand
up to all the extra work. Do not confuse the patient’s
diet restrictions, with what would be good for you.
Many caregivers try and switch over to the patient’s
diet, because of feeling bad or guilty, that the patient
has certain restrictions. This may be harmful to your
well being. Besides, if you have clarified the roles, you
will understand that your abstinence is not helping
the patient. It is only making both of you feel sorry
about giving up something you may have enjoyed
before.

Try and work some exercise into your schedule.
Physical activity is a good way to burn stress and rest
the “worry muscles” as well. It also improves stamina.

Fortify your mind. Seek assistance in faith, religion,
spirituality, family or community. The stronger you
become, the more support you can lend to your loved
one. Tough times are a frequent part of chronic
illness. The patient is physically sapped and may often
lose will and hope. You have to be well prepared for
such occasions. Only if you are inherently composed
and capable, can you offer strength, support and
determination to fight the disease.

Try to take a regular break. You can choose a creative
hobby, reading, music, meditation or simply a soak in
a hot bath. Whatever relaxes and rejuvenates you.
This may only be fifteen minutes in a day, but you
need to make some time for yourself too. If you are
able to take a few hours out for yourself, in a week or
month, do it. Do not hesitate. It is imperative to give
yourself time to heal and process your own emotions.

Even one of you maintaining some touch with
“normal life”, makes it possible to imagine achieving
it again.

Very often, both patient and caregiver, are pulled into
a vortex of disease related activity. The actual
treatment and medicine regime, information seeking,
interaction with medical workers, fund planning,
physical exhaustion, all are to be dealt with, over and
above the symptoms themselves. This all leaves very
little time, energy and enthusiasm for anything
outside of this realm. However, if you make a
conscious effort to retain normalcy, you will continue
to be hopeful of returning your patient to this
normalcy too. If you lose all hope and aspiration
yourself, how are you going to motivate your patient?

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